Signs that a child is struggling
After a diagnosis of disability, it’s common for siblings to withdraw temporarily, be jealous or try to get your attention.If these reactions seem extreme or continue for a long time, you might want to seek help. You could also ask for help with your child if he displays any of the following:
- trouble sleeping or eating
- fear of his sibling with the disability
- avoidance of his sibling
- frequent anger or aggression towards his sibling
- obsession with his own health
- underachievement in school work
- low self-esteem
- apathy
- lack of interest in spending time with friends or inviting them over
- lack of interest in playing his usual games
- significant changes in personality
- excessive attempts to please you
- unusual behaviour (for example, an older child might have tantrums that are more usual in younger children, or a child might pretend to have a disability as well).
Factors affecting sibling reactions
- Age: older children will probably find it easier to understand and adjust to the situation.
- Type of disability: children are likely to have more difficulties if their sibling has trouble communicating or behaves aggressively or in other challenging ways.
- Medical and care needs: if your child with a disability needs extra care and services it might interfere with family routines and daily life. For example, it might affect getting to school on time, or take attention away from other children. It might restrict what you can do as a family and mean that some of your children have to take on responsibilities or additional chores.
- How parents are coping: how well the family is coping, particularly the parents’ relationship, has a major impact on children. Helping your child is possible only if you take care of yourself. Easy to say, hard to do! But your child will learn most from how you manage your emotional responses.
Congratulations on your new nephew! I think it is awesome that you chose this topic of inquiry. With the knowledge you gain you will be well equipped to support your nephew, niece, and family.
ReplyDeleteI looked at the site you referenced and watched the video, “How Siblings Feel”. Parents and their children discussed how they feel about having a sibling with a disability. The siblings had a positive outlook and felt that it made them more understanding towards others. One parent told of a situation where her son did express some feelings of embarrassment and how she handled it. The parents felt that due to having a sibling with a disability their children were more caring, tolerant, and compassionate of all people. They agreed that it isn’t always easy but they all seemed to focus on the positives.
The parent’s attitude and perspective has to have an influence on how siblings react to and feel about having a sibling with a disability. I know with my own children, I can influence how they feel about something by how I react or handle a situation. Children look to the adults in their lives for answers and how to feel about things. That makes me think about my own blog inquiry and how having the responsibility of making sure the sibling without a disability is well adjusted and happy could be an added stressor. I will look more into it. Thanks!